Saturday, May 9, 2009

Swine Flu

While tearing down a wine display I had already built and rebuilt the Creepy Old Greeter (hereby referred to COG) at the store was hovering over me watching me closely.
"Can I help you," I ask politely, because I have proximity issues and she was a little bit close and a little bit distracting.
"Just watchin'," COG replies and continues to hover.
After successfully tearing down and rebuilding the display for the third time in a week I start loading up the display piece to take to my car. I bend down to pick it up and as I rises, the COG is back hovering over me and COUGHS ON ME!!
The very fact that I am touching wine bottles, grocery carts, door handles, etc., that people have been touching all day long makes me a bit of a germaphob to begin with, but this sends me in to a panic.
"ARE YOU KIDDING?! DID YOU REALLY JUST COUGH ON ME!?"
COG is currently in a state of shock that I am yelling.
"ARE YOU UNAWARE THAT PEOPLE ARE CURRENTLY PARANOID ABOUT DEADLY AIRBORNE ILLNESSES?"
Now, I am pretty sure COG is going to slap me. I also realize about 2 hours prior to this happening I was having a conversation about how the media has blown the whole swine flu out of proportion and how irresponsible Matt Lauer is, etc. This has all brought me back to the fact that I am yelling at COG and how this can get me in a bit of trouble over at work so I simply grab my work stuff and haul ass out of the store.
PS COG didn't recognize me next time I came in to the store, so my lesson is learned. But since she didn't recognize me, I'm thinking she didn't learn hers. FOR THE LOVE OF SWINE FLU, COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU SNEEZE/COUGH/YAWN

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